One week into a new job, Lisa Grouette discovered something missing come Sunday night: the sinking feeling of dread she used to experience before going to work every Monday.
Groutte spent 10 years at an insurance agency with a boss whom she alleges screamed at her, slammed his hands on the desk, insulted her appearance and punched things. He falsely accused her of taking money and threatened to withhold an employment recommendation if she quit, she says.
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But eventually, she found a way out. When a full-time role opened at a newspaper where she worked a part-time photography job, she resigned from the insurance agency. The new position paid US$400 less per month, but Grouette reduced her expenses to make it work. “You can’t put a price tag on it. It was the best 400 bucks a month I’ve ever spent, worth every penny. I was a little tight at first, but it didn’t matter because I was happy.”
As mental-health awareness increases, so are conversations about what constitutes unhealthy behaviour and the kinds of treatment people will not — or shouldn’t — tolerate for a steady paycheque.
“We’re developing language now around things like toxic workplaces,” says Jennifer Tosti-Kharas, a professor of organizational behaviour at Babson College in Massachusetts.
Millennials and generation Z are less willing to endure bullying behaviour from colleagues and managers and are better at establishing boundaries, she said.
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“If I encountered toxicity in the workplace, I had more of a ‘suck it up’ attitude,” says Tosti-Kharas, who identifies as a member of generation X. “I don’t think we were as vocal about taking care of our mental health as we should have been.”
Conflicts and difficult relationships may be inevitable in any work environment. But there’s a difference between an occasional disagreement and persistent abuse.
“What makes something toxic [is that] it’s more pervasive, more consistent over time,” she says. “You may have tried some things and it’s not getting better. . . . It’s very deeply entrenched.”
Possible indications of an emotionally harmful workplace include a widespread lack of trust and employees fearful of being shot down if they speak up, she said.
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Loud screamers aren’t the only kind of toxic co-workers and supervisors. There are quieter forms of toxicity, such as passive-aggressive behaviour by leaders who use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, indirect criticism and exclusion to control their employees, according to Alana Atchison, a clinical psychologist based in Chicago.
“It is a relationship where you can’t communicate clearly or directly, so you have to silence yourself. You can’t say truly what you need to say and feel safe.”
When on the receiving end of toxicity, employees can consider whether the offending behaviour says more about the person perpetuating it than the recipient.
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“It’s almost like a smokescreen to hide their deficits,” she says. “If someone feels insecure about their role or fears being overshadowed, they might resort to undermining others, gossiping or sabotaging projects to regain a sense of control or safety.”
Since the coronavirus pandemic, Atchison’s clients have increasingly complained about toxic work environments. She attributes that in part to the social isolation that accompanied lockdowns and restrictions on public activities.
Ideally, an employee who feels mistreated could appeal to someone from human resources or the offending employee’s manager with evidence to show a pattern of conduct violations and disciplinary action would be taken, Tosti-Kharas says.
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But that doesn’t always happen, leaving the reporting party in close proximity with the person they reported. “In the real world, you may realize they are unlikely to go anywhere, and it’s you who has to go somewhere.”
In extreme situations, employees may even look for another job, she says. “If an inspector found radon in your house, you wouldn’t say, ‘Let me try to work with the radon,’ or, ‘How can I keep it there but maybe lessen the effects?’ You would get the toxin out of the situation or you would get yourself out of the situation.”
“If somebody gives you an impression that you’re not able to leave this job, that’s just not true,” Grouette says. “Those sorts of people don’t have the reach or respect that they claim to have, because if they’re volatile to you, they’re volatile to others.”
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